15 months ago I returned to my “day job” after 10 months of maternity leave. I couldn’t wait to get back. I started back initially 4 days a week and within a few weeks was begging asking my boss to make it full time which he did.
That first year or so back was a bit of a blur. Adjusting to change and dealing with the ups and downs of my mental health meant I just focused on keeping my head above water.
After my marriage separation and Mr T moving our just over two months ago, I’ve moved into a “week on week off” parenting arrangement. Which for our situation works well for both of us and for Little T.
It means that effectively every alternate week I am a single mum who works full time.
Bear with me as this is not a sob story….
I am totally in awe of women who do this ALL the time and especially with more than ONE child.
My days with Little T are SO VASTLY different to those I when I don’t have him and the week I am working with him, I do sometimes find it tough to keep up with my job.
Let me paint a picture……
Typical Work Day Sans Child
6am: Wake - Lounge in bed until I can be motivated to get up (usually watching the TODAY show)
7am: Cup of Tea, Make breakfast, shower, dress and put on makeup all in about 20 minutes. Depending on how organised I am, put a load of washing on, unpack dishwasher
7.30am: log onto work PC if working from home that morning, or jump in car to drive to first appointment
8.30am – 5pm: work either at home, from the office, local cafe, or visit clients.
5-5.30pm: get home, listen to some music, go for a walk, check personal emails & facebook etc.
(alternate option would be to stop by a pub and have a relaxing wine or beer with some friends before heading home)
(alternate option would be to stop by a pub and have a relaxing wine or beer with some friends before heading home)
6-7.30pm: watch some news, make dinner, organise anything needing doing…
8pm: relax by watching TV or updating social media
10pm: Bed
Typical Work Day With Little T
6am: Be woken by the sound of a 2 year old chatting to his toys and jumping in his cot. Get him up and bring him in my bed until I can be bothered getting up. Watch recorded episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine.
7am-7.30am: Get Little T dressed, fix him breakfast, put Thomas the Tank on so I can get in the shower without him trying to get in with me.
8am: Get dressed and put on makeup with Little T helping by trying to have his own powder brush and constantly take items off him that I didn’t realise he knew how to open (last week it was mascara!). Pack Little T’s “school bag and waste 5 minutes trying to put his expensive “Clarke” shoes on when all he wants to wear are the $5 “blue shoes” from Target.
Spend 10 minutes trying to get him to walk to the car without running laps around it or being distracted by what’s in the garden, only to realise he has done a Poo and we have to go back inside to change his nappy.
8.30am: Drive to Day Care and drop him off, attempting to say goodbye as he rushes outside to play on the bikes without so much as turning his head back. Remember that I haven't had breakfast and need coffee.
9am-5.00pm: work either at home, from the office, local cafe, or visit clients.
Keep my fingers crossed I don’t get “the call” to say my son has a temperature (happens at least once a fortnight) and “someone” (that would be me) needs to come and get him early. I have been visiting clients an hour out of Melbourne on more than once occasion when this has happened.
5-5.30pm: Pick up Little T from Day Care drive home and arrange the battle that is his dinner. Decide based on how stressful my day is whether I will put up with a tantrum when he doesn’t want to eat what’s on offer. Pour wine.
5.30-7.30pm Try new ways to encourage Little T to want to eat his dinner, play with my son, laugh uncontrollably at something cute he does, update Facebook, bath Little T, Pour second glass of wine to drink whilst he’s in the bath. Put on a Thomas the Tank Engine on TV whilst I prepare my dinner. Put Little T to bed, read 10 stories, kiss his feet 20 times, say goodnight to all the soft toys, put soft toys back in the cot after he’s thrown them out no wanting to go to sleep, repeat feet kissing game, tell him how much I loved him today and tip toe down the stairs. Stop and sigh and smile to myself knowing how much I love that little boy.
7.30pm – 8.30pm Pour third glass of wine, finish making and then eat dinner in front of TV
8.30pm - think about all the things I should be doing around the house, decide I am way too tired and jump on Facebook instead, asking everyone if it’s too early to go to bed.
9.30pm Bed
That doesn’t even take into account what happens when you or the child (or both) get sick and everything gets out of whack!
Hat’s off to single mums and dads whether working or not. Parenting is a tough gig no matter your situation.
These past few months, whilst I‘ve been appreciating my alternate weeks when it’s just me to do what ever I want, I sure as hell miss that boy and come Monday when it’s change over day as I am excited as a kid on Christmas morning to have my Mumma time back.
